Recipes

Recipes (well, written directions in general) tend to be a challenge for DSS.  Maybe they are for anyone with ADHD?  I don't know.  DSS does much better with oral directions, one at a time. 

Since it's hard for him, it's something we practice on occasion.  DSS kind of likes cooking.  We'll, it's nearly Christmas, so last night we made some chocolate fudge -- he wanted to do it the "real" way (no marshallow creme here!).

I had him read the "general directions on fudge making" and the specific recipe before we started.  Then he summarizes it before we start, so I know he understands the general idea.  I made sure to point out that with candy making, you can't let it sit (it'll burn or get too cool or...), so he had to have everything ready to go.  As usual, I had to say this about five times before he had everything ready.  Except I forgot (as did he, of course) to calibrate the thermometer in boiling water - we live at a high altitude and this is standard practice to see how to adjust the candy temperatures, both for altitude and air pressure).  So I explained the hardball, softball stages to him to use instead.

The fudge cooks and all is good.  Now it's time for it too cool.  He decides while it's cooling that he'll call and ask his mom a question; I remind him to be quick so he can do the fudge at the right time.  He tells me he can stir and talk on the phone at the same time.  I point out that I can't talk to him about it, nor can he read the directions, if he's talking on the phone.  He's still on the phone and picks up the spoon and starts stirring the fudge.  I walk over and take the spoon away - it's way too early!  What is he thinking???  He gets off the phone and tells me he thought it was down to 110F so he started stirring.  The thermometer clearly says 155F.  So we talk about the thermometer divisions.

I don't get why he doesn't read the thermometer right.  He's done it before, several times before, without a problem.  This is a kid who is in honors math and science a grade level ahead!  He's a grade level ahead but can't read a thermometer!!!

As it gets closer to time to beat the fudge, I remind him of what to do by re-reading him the couple sentences from the recipe.  He says he's good.  We've each got a magazine we're reading as we wait.  Amazingly, he's pretty good at checking the temperature every few minutes.  I got up to get some water and check and tell him it's at 113, so almost time...  OK, he says.  He checks it a minute or two later and it's time.  So he goes to read the recipe again!

What!  It's time to stir.  You've read it 4-5 times now AND I just read it to you!  And you don't know what to do!  This is driving me nuts!  You've got to stir it now!  If you didn't know what to do next, why didn't you check when it was at 113F, so you'd have a minute to read it!!!

OK, so I didn't say that, but I thought it.  I did leave the room and ask DH to help him finish.  It was completely overwhelming to me to spend nearly 1.5 hours (yes, that long, cooking with DSS always takes twice as long as it could by myself) on candy just to ruin it by not knowing what to do.

ADHD is so contrary to my nature that it can be really hard.  I was tired last night, it wasn't the best night to be doing cooking with DSS.  I do much better in the coaching role when I'm not tired or frustrated about something else.  But due to DSS's schedule between us and exwife, and his afterschool activity schedule, and the family Christmas parties, this was the last day we could make fudge before Christmas.  So we did it anyway, and perhaps we shouldn't have (just for my frustration levels).

We were planning on doing it over the weekend, but DSS slept so late (12:30 on Sat, that might be a record), and dilly-dallied around till I told him we weren't going to make fudge until homework and chores were done.  So then he started doing them, but didn't finish till 8 on Sunday, which was too late to start fudge.  

On the bright side, DSS and DH finished up the fudge just fine.
On the other side, I feel like I ruined another interaction with DSS, as his ADHD tendency so frustrated me.